Keep on keeping on.

Today was interesting:

Click CANCER: May darating na problema sa iyo ngayong araw. ngunit wag mabahala dahil pagkatpos rin nito ay matutuwa kang matapos na ito.

sana sinabi nalang niya ito bago magfinals ko last week. hehehe

it’s sometimes weird how the past seems to reveal itself in the present yet it just isnt like the past anymore– just got better. everyone grows up, physically, mentally and emotionally. everyday we learn new things about life and living. we store this and develop what ever there is from that lesson and become a better person. ideally, this should happen. learning from mistakes, but with great age, comes with great responsibility. sometimes, younger ones tend to be wiser than the older ones. isnt that weird?

during pre adolescencent and early adolescencent stages, people whom i chat with, call on the phone or even talk with personally, think i speak too old for my age. i dont know how, but words just comes through me and out of my mouth. i love it. it’s like blacking out with benefits.

i often wonder how life would be like in my 20’s, 30’s 40’s and even 50’s but mostly the 20’s and 30’s. it wont be as interesting as high school and not as liberated as college. some say that gap would just fly by, i wonder still, would it be as interesting as teenhood? i just now realize that. i always wanted to talk to any old person, mga lolo’s and such, why? they have the wisdom, and know-how and experience. i wish one lolo could share with me his knowledge about living. cause they’ve been through it. age comes with wisdom. just keep this in mind while going through your mid years, maybe i should too, whatever might be in store in the future, i’m definitely not ready for it and will just live in the "eternal now" as Aoux used to say.

Hehehe, a simple thanks never felt so good. =)

I just came home from visiting Along in his funeral this afternoon. We [me, my coach and kuya BJ]  talked to his Big brother about the things going on. Well, malungkot talaga. I was planning on not going na nga lang kasi pwede naman, but, since, siya ung unang tao na kakilala ko personally. malungkot yung atmosphere, i’ve already been to funerals but madalas, puro matatanda ang nakahiga, this time, 20 years old lang.

it was the first time i went to the funeral with intent, meaning, meron talaga akong pakay, kasi, sa iba naman, sinasama ako eh.  pero yun nga this time, kilala ko yung tao. masakit. its really sad to think that in just a blink of an eye, someone is gone forever. i think everybody knows the saying that, let everyone know, or every loved one you know that you love them before its too late.tama yun, oo. mahirap lang talaga gawin. why? mejo ayaw ko ng mushy eh. a man gots to be tough. (mejo one sided, but hey, if not us, then who will?) so i just let them feel it in different ways. =)

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ang init kanina sa taxi grabe. paglabas ko, whoo! fresh cold polluted air! how refreshing!

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Well, since last week, i had tons of problems, after the finals, it just seemed to go away until just the long terms where there. thank God its over. i’m a Phoenix Judoka!

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When i start something, or find something going on or had started or needs to be continued, i try to finish it. one thing that irritates me and bugs me so much is not being able to finish something. it’s like there’s always that little voice in your head that just ruins your day– everyday until that thing is done. once done, it’s like a burden off your shoulders, (haha there’s one way of losing weight) hahaha, i crack myself up. hooohoo! sometimes i make mistakes just to finish these things, sometimes go berserk or reckless. for that, i am sorry. i’ll try not to do so again. okay? ^v^

February is around the corner, and guess what’s big in February? OF COURSE!

THE FEB FAIR!

Ha Ha Ha. rumor has it that Bamboo’s gonna be performing for free there. and Also Christian Bautista’s going to judge the UP Idol and perform as well. i just hope, walang masasagasaang exams nun. YEAH!

Oh yeah, another thing before i finish this entry. i changed my blog name from "am i transparent" to "Its Tan-tan time" just because, as i keep on typing on and on and on about whats in my cranium, its like meditating and sorting everything out in your brain while laying it out on pen and paper to review what you just did. the readers are just second priority. this is tantan’s time. my time.

it’s so great to be free.(again)

I know and you know that death is inevitable, we cannot stop it, we cannot run away from it and definitely not undo it. the best thing we can do is slow it down from getting to us.

Kiel, was a person i’ve met from friendster, i didnt talk to him much but i knew him. when i heard the news that he never woke up from his sleep, it was my first experience of death, well, yeah, my lolas and lolos die but i didnt know them, 2nd degree etc.. eto iba, 1st degree to. that’s why, when i heard the bad news, i felt really sad and ‘nanghihinayang’. since then, i had another view to death, before i dont really mind people who die everday and gets on the news, but now, i feel down and sad when i see or hear about people dying. its like, i still cant accept that *poof* they’re gone. i mean, they’re gone! i didnt mean anything else just that.

and now, recently, Marlon Villanueva, a.k.a. "Along", who died just this friday during his finals in a frat which i will not mention coz it myt get me in trouble. anyway, Along was someone i really knew, kilala ko siya at kaibigan ko yun, we were classmates in Philo I making fun of the "astiging" teacher all the time. he was a good person, mabait na tao. and to think that in just one night, i could never see him again or speak to him, not that i speak to him all the time, but parang he’s gone. he’s really gone. this sounds gay, hehe, please dont misunderstand, it’s just hard to accept someone you know to die. correct?

i often imagine what would happen if i die, my one wish is to see everyone i’ve met over the years, just like edward bloom in the big fish, everyone i’ve helped, i’ve made to laugh, and even had problems with. i dont know why but maybe its just fulfilling to see everyone again together in the same place at the same time. hindi ko pa nga nadedescribe how my death should be, maybe i just want everyone to be happy, and help each other. i mean, pagnagkita kita sila sa funeral, cry if you want to sure, but i’d like it if you looked happy, cause i definitely am happy to have met each and everyone of you. actually, just like the funeral of edward bloom, hindi ko naman siya ginagaya, pero before ko pa mapanood yung movie na yun, un na talaga ang iniimagine ko, maybe the movie just gave me a little push by visualizing it and relaying it to a better picture. anyway, i dont want to die just yet, there’s lots more to do, but i dont want to live too long either, maybe 90 years is my max. by then, i wish i’ve accomplished all my dreams. =)

Death is not the greatest loss in life.  The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.  ~Norman Cousins

Keep on living, and continue what you want to do in life, there’s only one shot at life, so we have to do everything to increase our chances to that shot.

Hehe, sabi yan sakin ng isang tao na sinabi rin sa kanya ng isang tao.

on the span ng time (2nd wk of december upto today) nagrereport ako sa org, pero last week lang naging intense, at i cant wait for the finals day para matpos na. all the while na nagififnals ako, un lang ang inisip ko (and cguro, it also reminded me of someone[he he]) all these things went through my mind which helped me finish through the finals. Oh Yeah. sarap ng pakiramdam, a burden off your shoulders PLUS you have someone elso to massage them for ya, my brods and sisses.WEEEEEE!

Yup Yup Yup! Good Day to Ya! ^_^